What Never Was

Wedding DressesI know I’ve been MIA for the last two months or so.  I’ve been on a runaway train.  At least, that is what it has felt like.  You see, my daughter was getting married.  There were halls to book, ministers to talk to, rental chairs to acquire, caterers to visit, cakes to taste, and wedding dresses to alter.  There were bridesmaids dresses to sew and decorations to buy and discussions about colors.  Once we were all on the train, it only sped up, and we didn’t even have time to breathe.

You will notice that I said she “was” getting married.  On Friday, two weeks before the wedding, everything came to a screeching halt. It was more than cold feet.  My daughter and her intended not only called off the wedding.  They called off the whole relationship.  There is a wedding dress in my closet with pins where the hem should be.  There are three enormous plastic bins of decorations, paper products, etched glasses for the head table, and bags of bubbles cluttering up our guest suite.  There are five cases of water, six cases of Capri Sun, and 500 plastic drink cups taking up residence in a corner of the living room.  There are checks written to be mailed to the caterer, the minister, the hall, and the DJ.

And we sit, somewhat stunned by the sudden stop, and the overwhelming nature of what needs to be done next.  Notifying guests, canceling reservations, figuring out what to do with all the “stuff” that fills the house.

All of this, I suppose, will make a good story some day.  Or perhaps I’ll be able to use some of this experience in one of my novels.  But after two months of not even thinking about writing, I’m feeling pretty danged rusty.  And I will probably not have a lot of time to write until the end of June, as we deal with the fallout from this major life change, and also while there are still family in town.  Most of the family has decided to come anyway, and have a vacation instead.  And since we live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet, I say, “why not?”  Come on out.  I already have the vacation time scheduled.  I’m happy to show you around, ad happy to spend time with you, even if the circumstances aren’t what we had originally planned for.

June 2016 will always be, in my mind, “What Never Was.”  As a planner, as a Type-A personality, when things go wrong or change drastically, it is a difficult adjustment.  But I can do this.  And bottom line, this breakup was for the best, and my daughter is a very strong, very brave young woman who knew she couldn’t go through with the marriage, and knew that to cancel was the right thing to do.  I’m very proud to have raised such a girl.

21 thoughts on “What Never Was

  1. I’m so sorry for all the stress, but so glad you’re able to see it so clearly for your daughter’s sake. Not all parents would be so understanding. They should be, but that’s another story.

    Enjoy your time with the family.

    • Well, there was money spent, but not that much money, and yes, it’s a bother and an aggravation, but this was for the best, and that is truly what is important.

  2. Susabelle – better she cancel before she had 4 kids, a mortgage, and years of unhappiness. God Bless her for being so strong and courageous, and God Bless you, too, for being a mother who not only understands and is supportive but finds the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: a potential plot for a future story! You are such a writer!! Enjoy the time with your relatives and remember: all things happen for a reason.
    Be well.

  3. Wow! What a train ride. This happened to my sister n law. While it was a difficult experience for everyone involved, now some 20 years and a set of triplets later, we all think our lucky stars she did not go through with it. It would have been the biggest mistake of her life. Hugs to you and your family. I’m really glad you are taking that vacation:)

    • I do know this was for the best, and that’s how I’m looking at it. She is only 22. There will be another chance or three or four thousand in her future. 🙂

  4. My gosh, what an abrupt turnaround. But yes, I’m so glad your daughter realized it before making a huge mistake. Enjoy your company and ‘vacation’!

  5. Whewww, what a saga. I’m so sorry, but hope it will all work out for your lovely daughter. Better to call if off now then after, but it’s a major shake up. This also happened to a friend of mine whose daughter called a halt right before her wedding in May. Or maybe the guy did, or both. She was so hysterical I never got to the bottom of it. You are handling things with good will and a steady spirit. ((Hugs)) I know it’s hard.

    • I am, thankfully, not the hysterical type! We are feeling out of sorts, of course, and I don’t quite know what to do with myself, but no hysterics. I guess that is a good thing.

  6. Well, they say, “better safe than sorry”, and while getting married to the wrong person isn’t usually life threatening (except in a few cases, mostly in books) better a few weeks of unhappiness and stress, rather than months or years. My daughter is still trying to get out of a truly bad relationship so I know it takes courage. Bless you for being a good mum and understanding. (I’m in the UK right now and the lingo does rub off.) And you’re right; for us authors “it’s all material”. Hang in there and have fun with your guests.

    • Thanks, Mary. I intend to enjoy the vacation time already scheduled, and enjoy the less stress – no running around and wearing myself out the day before and day of the wedding. So there is definitely a bright side!

  7. Maybe you can advertise the stuff for sale as a wedding starter kit. I commend your daughter for knowing her mind and doing what she felt was right.
    Now, get back to writing.

    • I will be trying to resell everything I can. Since I bought much of it online, it isn’t worth trying to return it. The water we will drink up eventually, and the capri sun will be going to a local church’s daycare. 🙂

    • I am thankful that it was now, and that my brave girl was strong enough to say this wasn’t what she wanted. I am very proud of her.

  8. Wow! My only thought was the same as the others…better now than after they were married. I love how you’re turning this into a semi-positive ordeal by spending time with family. Hoping you’ll get back to writing and some sense of normalcy. 🙂

  9. Wow Susabelle what an experience. Good for your daughter and you for supporting her decision. The vacation will do you good. Always nice to visit with relatives what ever the reason. Like someone else said. Things happen for a reason. Fodder for a story hope you’re able to get back to writing soon.

    • Thanks Tena. Me too. Hopefully after the next two weeks and guests come and go, I’ll get back to a regular writing routine. I sure do miss it, that’s for sure!

  10. What an earthquake to hit your family! My best wishes to your daughter as she begins to rebuild. My best wishes to you as you pick up the pieces. I have no doubt a scenario like this, with all the inherent drama, will be the crux of a great novel yet to come for you. Best wishes!

  11. WOW! Your daughter was indeed courageous. And you are the support she needs right now, no doubt. Enjoy your time with family. Sending hugs to you and yours. I like the wedding starter kit idea that Sandra had…a way to make lemonade out of the situation.

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