What Never Was


Wedding DressesI know I’ve been MIA for the last two months or so.  I’ve been on a runaway train.  At least, that is what it has felt like.  You see, my daughter was getting married.  There were halls to book, ministers to talk to, rental chairs to acquire, caterers to visit, cakes to taste, and wedding dresses to alter.  There were bridesmaids dresses to sew and decorations to buy and discussions about colors.  Once we were all on the train, it only sped up, and we didn’t even have time to breathe.

You will notice that I said she “was” getting married.  On Friday, two weeks before the wedding, everything came to a screeching halt. It was more than cold feet.  My daughter and her intended not only called off the wedding.  They called off the whole relationship.  There is a wedding dress in my closet with pins where the hem should be.  There are three enormous plastic bins of decorations, paper products, etched glasses for the head table, and bags of bubbles cluttering up our guest suite.  There are five cases of water, six cases of Capri Sun, and 500 plastic drink cups taking up residence in a corner of the living room.  There are checks written to be mailed to the caterer, the minister, the hall, and the DJ.

And we sit, somewhat stunned by the sudden stop, and the overwhelming nature of what needs to be done next.  Notifying guests, canceling reservations, figuring out what to do with all the “stuff” that fills the house.

All of this, I suppose, will make a good story some day.  Or perhaps I’ll be able to use some of this experience in one of my novels.  But after two months of not even thinking about writing, I’m feeling pretty danged rusty.  And I will probably not have a lot of time to write until the end of June, as we deal with the fallout from this major life change, and also while there are still family in town.  Most of the family has decided to come anyway, and have a vacation instead.  And since we live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet, I say, “why not?”  Come on out.  I already have the vacation time scheduled.  I’m happy to show you around, ad happy to spend time with you, even if the circumstances aren’t what we had originally planned for.

June 2016 will always be, in my mind, “What Never Was.”  As a planner, as a Type-A personality, when things go wrong or change drastically, it is a difficult adjustment.  But I can do this.  And bottom line, this breakup was for the best, and my daughter is a very strong, very brave young woman who knew she couldn’t go through with the marriage, and knew that to cancel was the right thing to do.  I’m very proud to have raised such a girl.